#42: The truth about transforming - An open & honest conversation

Elizabeth works in finance at Nestle. They decided that everyone at Nestle should follow my first free module to find more balance, while still having a great impact. Elizabeth also followed the rest of the modules and today, she shared what she and the people around her have noticed in a couple of months after doing the course.

The things that helped the most

I was really interested in how my course affected Elizabeth. Did it change her work life? Did she have an impact on her private life?

And the thing she said was the biggest eye-opener for her, was managing her mindset. She used to live in the past and often couldn’t understand how other people would react to a certain situation. It was then difficult to react appropriately because her vision was clouded because of her fixed mindset. It was only when she learned to step back and manage her mindset that she could see how other people looked at certain situations. Everything started to make more sense. And not only could she understand other people, but she started to understand what her own body and emotions were telling her! Once she had changed her mindset, it was way easier to align herself with her colleagues or family to achieve the desired outcome. She could understand the needs of the other person and react to these needs instead of their behavior.
Another thing she found really helpful about changing her mindset, is that her thoughts were more organized, she wasn’t immediately thinking about solutions for problems anymore, but taking the time to step back and managing her thoughts in order to better tackle a certain situation.
But while changing your mindset, you can often end up in an uncomfortable zone, because most people aren’t used to working with their emotions that much, which can feel overwhelming at first.

The challenges that come with change

Going from the old Elizabeth to the new one, she said she often felt uncomfortable, because you are trying to change your habits and mindset, but your body or your mind is resisting that change. They are still stuck in your old patterns, which can create friction inside of you if you want to change these patterns. But I often say, and I said to her as well, even the Dalai Lama or very spiritual people often have negative emotions and can fall back into bad behaviors. But that is completely normal! The only secret is to notice and recognize it and then coming back to the person you want to be. Remember that progress is a process of falling down and getting yourself back up.

Another thing that Elizabeth had difficulties with, is being nice to herself. I think it’s important to talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend. You shouldn’t be too hard on yourself and trust that if you put in the effort to achieve something, you will. Learn from mistakes and move on. But sometimes, you can still have negative thoughts. Maybe you are stuck in a bad mood and you feel frustrated no matter how you talk to yourself or how hard you try to keep a healthy mindset. When I feel this way, I have learned that it is simply my body telling me that I need to manage my energy. And that’s when I go for a walk, I call a friend or I hug my children. And immediately, after managing my energy, I feel better and can tackle the challenges that are thrown at me.

Feedback on the QiLeader course

I am, of course, always looking for improvement in my course. I want to know what people like; what I should keep doing and what I can do to improve. So I asked Elizabeth what she thought made this leadership course different than other training.

The one thing she told me she appreciated the most, was the flow of the course. She loved how everything fit together and was built to learn as efficiently as possible. First, you have the learning material: the reading you do or the videos you watch, and then you have a moment of reflection, where you apply these new skills and write down how you would tackle a problem, using the things you just learned. She also liked that the learning is spaced out, which should give you plenty of time to reflect and think about the concepts that you just discovered.
She loved how the course gave her a better understanding of how we function as human beings. She could use that understanding as a foundation to improve on dozens of other things like feedback or communication for example.

I also asked Elizabeth what I could do to improve. She didn’t have any concrete suggestions for me, but she said it helped her a lot to follow the course with a larger group because the course then has way more impact. The impact of the course is larger because when learning collectively, you can help each other to change your mindset and habits. Everyone learns to be more authentic and vulnerable around each other, so you aren’t alone to go through this change.

I can see that Elizabeth already has made a lot of progress through the conversation I had with her, she learned to change her mindset and stop when she was faced with a difficult situation and she has learned to see the needs behind people’s reactions in order to better react and reach a collective goal.

If you also feel that you want the change to have more balance, impact, and meaning for you and your team, we will start a new cohort of our course Leading Authentically in Digital Times on March 22nd. You can also find links to our webinars and free masterclass below. Subscribe if you liked the podcast and I will see you next week!

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